Blog
Grades Don't Tell the Whole Story: The Missing Link Is Executive Function.
When a student brings home a disappointing report card, the first question is often, "Why aren't they trying harder?"
But what if effort isn't the problem?
Many students who are bright, curious, and capable struggle in school—not because they lack intelligence, but because they lack the executive function skills needed to consistently demonstrate what they know.
What Is Executive Function?
Executive function refers to the brain's self-management system. These mental skills help us plan, organize, manage time, pay attention, regulate emotions, remember instructions, and complete tasks.
Think of executive function as the "air traffic control system" of the brain. It coordinates everything that needs to happen for successful learning.
Strong executive function skills help students:
Start assignments without endless reminders
Keep track of homework and deadlines
Stay focused despite distractions
Break large projects into manageable steps
Manage frustration when work becomes challenging
Check their work before turning it in
Prioritize competing responsibilities
These are skills—not personality traits—and they develop over time.
Why Grades Can Be Misleading
Grades are often viewed as a measure of intelligence or knowledge. In reality, they reflect much more than academic ability.
A student may fully understand the material but earn poor grades because they:
Forget to turn in completed assignments
Mismanage their time
Lose important papers
Rush through tests without checking their work
Become overwhelmed by multi-step projects
Procrastinate until deadlines are missed
In these cases, the issue isn't understanding the content—it's managing the process.
The Executive Function Gap
Imagine two students who both understand algebra equally well.
Student A writes assignments in a planner, studies consistently, organizes notes, and completes homework on time.
Student B forgets assignments, starts studying the night before a test, misplaces notes, and leaves homework unfinished.
Although both students possess similar academic ability, Student A is likely to earn significantly higher grades.
The difference isn't intelligence. It's executive function.
Why "Try Harder" Doesn't Work
Students with executive function challenges often hear:
"You just need to apply yourself."
"You're so smart if you'd only try."
"Be more responsible."
While these comments are well-intentioned, they rarely solve the problem.
Executive function difficulties are not about laziness. They reflect challenges with skills that are still developing. Telling a student to "be organized" is much like telling someone to "be taller." Without strategies, support, and practice, change is difficult.
Executive Function Can Be Taught
The encouraging news is that executive function skills improve with instruction and repetition.
Parents and educators can help students learn to:
Use planners and digital calendars effectively
Break assignments into smaller tasks
Create predictable routines
Use visual reminders and checklists
Estimate how long tasks will take
Reflect on what strategies worked and what didn't
Over time, these supports become habits.
Looking Beyond the Report Card
Grades provide useful information, but they don't tell the whole story.
When a student's grades don't match their potential, it may be worth asking different questions:
Does my child know how to organize their work?
Can they manage their time independently?
Do they have strategies for planning ahead?
Are executive function challenges getting in the way of showing what they know?
These questions often lead to more productive solutions than simply focusing on the letter grade.
Final Thoughts
Success in school isn't determined by intelligence alone. Executive function plays a critical role in helping students translate knowledge into performance.
When we recognize that grades are influenced by planning, organization, time management, and self-regulation—not just academic ability—we can better support students where they need it most.
Instead of asking, "Why aren't they trying harder?" we can ask, "What skills do they need to be successful?"
That shift in perspective can change not only grades, but a student's confidence, independence, and long-term success.
Let’s chat.
_____________________________________________
Report card season is here.
If you child has brought home a disappointing report card, it is often easy to ask, “Why didn’t you try harder?’
But what if lack of effort isn’t the problem? What if they attended the review sessions, spent hours each night working on their own or with a tutor, and those efforts did not yield the expected results?
Many students- of any age- who are curious, bright and capable, still struggle in school- not because they lack intelligence but because they lack the executive function skills needed to consistently demonstrate what they know.
Executive function skills help us plan, organize, manage time, pay attention, regulate emotions, remember instructions, and complete tasks.
These skills typically develop over time, and there are strategies and supports that can be taught and used until one’s own executive function skills fully develop naturally, or to compensate for skills that don’t develop in the typical sense and timeframe for various reasons.
So, while we are all taking a pause this summer, maybe we can look ahead to the next school year so we can shift the “Why aren’t they trying harder?” question to “What skills do they need to be successful?”. Let’s shift the perspective and build confidence and independence so our students will enjoy long-term success.
Strong executive function skills help students:
Keep track of homework and deadlines and start assignments without constant prodding
Stay focused even in environments with distractions
Break large projects into manageable steps
Manage frustration when work becomes challenging
Check their work before turning it in, and actually turn it
Prioritize competing responsibilities
These are skills that typically develop over time. Everyone develops at their own pace. That doesn’t mean that the student needs to flounder. There are a number of supports that can be used by teachers, parents and the student that, with proper instruction and consistency,
Let’s chat.
_________________________________________________
School’s Out- Time to Slack (with a side of structure).
Summer’s here. We all felt it last week. It was too hot to do anything outside if you didn’t have access to water. And as parents we often hear the same thing from our children on the days we stay indoors from the heat, or from the cold, – “I’m soooo bored”.
Boredom can be a good thing. In some children it can bring out creativity, problem solving and grow our tolerance for frustration.
Staying indoors can also bring on “boredom blues” for some children and “boredom blues” can show itself in some unpleasant ways- anxiety from not knowing what comes next, and poor sleep habits that bring mood changes and behaviors. The lack of the structure/schedule that school provides can make our children feel adrift, as if there is no guide for their day.
How do we overcome the “boredom blues” and the challenges that come with it?
Set your own loose schedule, and depending on the age of your children, post the “schedule” in the house using pictures or lists, or talk about the plans for the day regularly, including the night before. It doesn’t need to be, and shouldn’t be, an hour by hour schedule. Just knowing that there is a plan can be helpful for many of our kids. Give them a say in activities, as much as possible. Let them know when there is a change, what the change looks like and why the plans had to change. This builds flexibility Give them time to process the changes too.
Maybe mornings are for slow, quiet play- set out the Legos or PlayDough, coloring books and crayons, puzzles and books.
After lunch could be movement time- ride bikes, go to the park, swing on the swings, dig in the dirt, and then come back in and clean up while listening to music or audiobooks. Make movement a daily goal.
After dinner could be light chores as a family and a walk in the night air before bed, while talking about what they see or hear as you walk together. On those days that walks aren’t an option, maybe pick a nice movie and pile on the couch together.
A good mix of movement, light structure, and “down time” will help our kids recharge, and grow this summer.
If you need help creating a visual/picture schedule for your child, reach out.
Let’s chat.
_____________________________________________
Tick-Tock- Where did the time go?
Time blindness is a term used to describe the difficulty in perception of the passage of time and in predicting how long it will take to complete a task. Time blindness can show itself in various ways: chronic lateness, hyperfocus, and also procrastination. It’s common in individuals with ADHD, Autism, Traumatic Brain Injury, Depression and OCD.
Time blindness can be a source of conflict in many households. Videogames that continue to be played for hours while the player reports “it will just take a few minutes to get to a save spot”. A class project put off until the last minute by the student who thinks it will only take a short time to complete, while in reality it ends up being hours of work, and is usually turned in late. The career professional that is chronically late for meetings, which leads to a performance review. Time blindness will impact relationships, academics, and career success.
How to manage time blindness? Here are a few tips.
Externalize time by using visual timers in a direct line of sight. Ones that show the shrinking of time (think hour glass or count-down timer) can provide a sense of urgency that can lead to better focus. Timers with audio alarms help bring focus back as well. For example-A timer with an alarm set just outside of the shower helps for those who lose track of time and end up being late. Keep time accessible by having wall clocks in your physical spaces, and wear a wrist watch when you are out. Time is something you should be able to easily see, and not need to guess at.
Intentionally track the time it takes you to complete various tasks. You will see a pattern and will be able to take that data and apply it to similar tasks. You will learn how long that seven page paper really takes, and be able to apply that to future tasks.
Build in a buffer. A good suggestion is to estimate what you think you need for time to complete a task, and then multiply it by 1.5 for a more realistic expectation. Give yourself time between activities for transitions, or for those times that your estimate is off – this will allow you to not be overscheduled.
Routines. If you establish a routine for everyday activities, your body will get into a rhythm, and the things that once required conscious effort to remember and complete will become an automatic habit for your body and brain. Take the time to invest in developing time management skills, and you will see reduced anxiety and a greater sense of calm in your daily life.
Looking for more ways to help yourself or your loved one?
Let’s chat.
_________________________________________
In Celebration of Focus Time.
Your prefrontal cortex is the part of your brain that drives working memory, attention and cognitive flexibility. It is one of the last regions of your brain to fully develop. It is growing and developing until your mid-twenties.
Once you become an adult, and are working a job, or staying at home and raising a family, or any combination of those scenarios, it is easy to find yourself taking on more and more tasks. And trying to juggle those tasks all at the same time. How many of us have seen job postings that suggest that one of the desired traits for the ideal candidate is the “ability to handle multiple, competing, time-sensitive tasks with accuracy and attention”?
These “highly desired traits” are really a recipe for potential disappointment for both the boss and the candidate. Our brains are not designed to handle more than 3-5 chunked groups of information at a time. And every switch from one task to another comes with a cost. Your brain has to shift gears and put what you were working on into “storage” and open a new file. This can cause mental fatigue and attention drain while your brain shifts from the old task to the new one. Too many “open files” in our brain reduces the capacity to hold information, maintain attention and pivot to something else easily when a change pops up. The overall result is poor performance and errors. In school, teachers would call this “sloppy work due to rushing”.
How can we more effectively handle all of the tasks that life requires?
Let’s start by celebrating doing one thing at a time and doing it well. Let’s “single-task” instead of multi-task. Set your calendar to block off focus time where you will not answer emails or take phone calls. Use this time for just one project and then really knock it out. Have your voicemail and email give auto-replies to inquiries during focus time that lets clients know when you will be available and encourage them to reach back out to you at that preferred time.
Let’s set ourselves, and our environment, up for success. Close out the unneeded tabs on our computer, silence our phone (or put them out of sight, in another room, etc. if the pull is too strong), and clean off that desk before you take on a new task. Then when that task is done, do a desk re-set so you are not tempted to go back to what you had been working on after you start a new project. When an idea hits you for something that you are not working on currently, write it down on sticky note so your brain doesn’t need to hold on to it, and then go right back to the current project.
Need more strategies for how to handle “all of the things” more effectively?
Let’s chat.
____________________________________________
Procrastination.
“Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task” said American philosopher and psychologist William James in a letter to his friend Carl Stumpf in January, 1886.
(Oxford Essential Quotations (5 ed.), Edited by: Susan Ratcliffe, Publisher: Oxford University Press, Published online: 2017, Current Online Version: 2017, eISBN: 9780191843730)
I think most of us would be able to relate to what Mr. James was saying to his friend. The heaviness that weighs on the mind when we know we need to get a task done but just cannot find the motivation to take the first step to get started. That unfinished task, or task not yet began, nags at us. It takes up our brain space and causes stress.
It doesn’t even have to be a monumental task – maybe it is folding the mound of laundry that has been sitting on the counter for several days, or getting the checkbook out to pay bills, or picking up the phone to make that dentist appointment that is long overdue, or starting the essay that is due in a week. The task, for whatever the reason, is off-putting or unpleasant, so we put it off. And this is often misinterpreted by others- teachers, spouses, employers-as laziness, or lack of drive or motivation. But really, it is more complex than that.
Individuals with Executive Function (EF) challenges often struggle with procrastination, and feel guilt and shame when they are unable to achieve to the standards that they set for themselves or that others hope to see them achieve. Procrastination is often due to cognitive barriers, rather than unwillingness. Anxiety, perfectionism, time management issues, or not knowing how to break down a large assignment may contribute to procrastination.
Executive Function coaches can make a meaningful difference.
EF coaches are trained to assess an individual’s strengths and challenges, and determine with the client what triggers might contribute to procrastination. The EF coach will work with the client on building the skills needed for getting started, staying focused, and seeing the job through to then end, so that even daunting tasks become more manageable and confidence grows.
Let’s chat.
_____________________________________________
Shhhh. Don’t say it too loud, but it is almost time to start thinking about going back to school.
Back-to-school season isn't just about buying backpacks and school supplies (and moving into dorms for our college students)—it's also the perfect time to build the skills that make the school year smoother.
If you or someone you know struggles with:
-Staying organized
-Managing time
-Starting or finishing assignments
-Keeping track of materials
-Planning ahead or remembering deadlines
...Executive Function (EF) coaching can make a meaningful difference.
The weeks before school starts are the ideal time to establish routines, practice strategies, and build confidence before assignments, tests, and busy schedules begin.
Instead of spending the first months of school playing catch-up, students can start the year with tools that help them stay organized, focused, and independent.
Executive Function skills aren't about intelligence—they're skills that can be taught, practiced, and strengthened.
Let's get ready to start this school year feeling prepared, confident, and ready to succeed.
Let’s chat.
Executive Function Coach of the Finger Lakes
_____________________________________________
But how will they (fill in the blank) if I’m not there to make sure it gets done?
College drop off is upon us, and many parents worry about how their child will be able to wake up on time or remember where they left their keys, ID, license, or get their assignments done and turned in on time etc. if they aren’t there to “help”. The list of parent worries, and what drives those worries, seems endless sometimes.
We all want our child to succeed, to be happy, and be independent, right? That’s the goal of parenting. But sometimes our worries for our children get in the way of them building the skills that will let the “baby bird fly”. We pack the lunches to be sure that they get the right nutrition; we do the laundry because we know how tired the kid is from doing all of their clubs/sports/jobs and just want to take that one chore off their plate; we wake them up so they won’t be late; we check in on how they are doing on assignments so their grades reflect their true abilities. All of these things are well intended- and frankly depending on what challenges your child might have, just doing these things on your own, for them, makes the household run smoother and avoids conflict, right? It just makes things feel easier. But it doesn’t help the baby bird learn to fly. It just pushes the problem down the road.
Sometimes, when we let go, the growth happens. No one is suggesting that the student should have all of the supports taken away, leaving them to flounder. I am suggesting that the skills be taught- and maybe not by mom/dad/grandparent/ etc. Let mom and dad parent. Let a professional Executive Function Coach teach the skills, and build the scaffolding until the skills are learned. Your kid can do it- whatever the “it” is that worries you- and an Executive Function Coach can be their support, mentor and guide who will teach them the skills to get the “it” done.
Let’s chat.
_____________________________________________
What is she talking about???
Do you have a child starting college, or high school or middle school- or are you starting a new job with new responsibilities? If yes, then this one is for you.
You’ve heard me talk about my Executive Function coaching business each week, but maybe you don’t really know what Executive Functioning is and why I am talking about it. Today is the day that I break it down for you. Sorry for the length on this one.
Executive Functioning is the set of cognitive processes or skills that help you to:
-Focus your attention
-Remember the instructions
-Start the task; manage your time while working on the task, stay organized, and complete the task (and remember to turn it in also) ←a step that many folks with Executive Function issues struggle with
-Control your impulses
-Adapt to changes
Executive Functioning skills typically develop naturally as you mature in age, up to around age 25, and then they naturally decline in our older years. Neurological differences and environmental/socio-economic challenges may impact how well these skills develop. Factors like ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Learning Disabilities, Tourette’s, Traumatic Brain Injury, anxiety, trauma, poverty, housing instability, etc. can negatively impact how well our Executive Function skills develop naturally.
Coaching can be the bridge between the level of skills we are given naturally (or how our life circumstances impact how those skills develop), and how we compensate for the areas of need.
How would you know if you might benefit from Executive Function Coaching?
If you struggle with forgetfulness, are disorganized, act impulsively or are easily distracted, Executive Function coaching may be able to help teach you strategies and build the skills to overcome these challenges. If transitions, follow-through on tasks, and managing frustrations when plans change or you encounter setbacks are difficult for you, Executive Function coaching can provide you with practical tools and strategies that may help you build the skills you need.
And – especially important this time of year- If you are now encountering an academic workload that you have not experienced before and need help with figuring out how to get started on assignments, and continue to move forward and stay motivated, while navigating a new environment- whether it is middle school, or high school, or college, or a new job, coaching can support you and teach you the skills that will help you in your academics, and may also carry over to other areas of your life. We can acknowledge the obstacles and perhaps identify the source, make a plan to move forward, and see the jobs through to completion.
Let’s chat.
_____________________________________________
Ready, Set, Go!
School has either started already or will begin in just a few days. How can you make sure that the new school year gets started off on the right track? It takes a plan and consistency. Here is what that can look like:
- Read the syllabus from start to finish- You may find that some teachers put tips in there for how to reach out when you are struggling, and some will specifically say when their quiz schedule will be, or ways to earn bonus point. Read that syllabus, and get informed.
- Take a picture of the syllabus with your phone. So many times the syllabus will get tossed aside or thrown out all together after the first week or so of school. The syllabus holds valuable info. Put it into your capture system (your phone) so you can refer back to it in a pinch.
- Map your week (or your month if you have big projects), not just your day. Being able to see the whole week at a glance will allow you to see what projects might require more time, or which ones you need help on if you think you will get “stuck”. The saying “Forewarned is forearmed” applies. If you know something is coming you can prepare for it. When all you see on your calendar is the day you are on, or the day that comes next, you don’t have ample time to prepare, or pivot when life throws you a curveball
- Create a habit and put it on repeat. Whatever was a struggle for you last year- take mental stock of it, and then figure out how this “new school year, new you” will address it. Maybe set up a drop zone for your school things, get your study environment set up and ready to roll with all of the things you need to do your work, add some exercise into your day- even 10 minutes will get your blood flowing and clear your mind so you are ready to work.
- Finally, determine when you really work best- not when you think you can get it done, but when you can really do your best work, then take a look at what is due, when it is due, and then let’s make a plan for how you will get it done.
Let’s chat.
_____________________________________________
It started with a simple itch in the middle of the night.
By the time I woke up my eyes were swollen to slits and the rash of poison ivy or poison oak was all over my face, neck, arms and trunk. The itch was intense, to say the least, and the rash and swelling made me look like Will Smith in Hitch when he ate the seafood. Go ahead- Google it and then multiply it by ten for what I have. There was no way I was leaving the house, not for a long time.
What does this have to do with Executive Function and coaching?
This rash, like many of life’s hiccups, is a curveball. And how we respond to curveballs depends a lot on our neurological “wiring”. Some people take a lot of life’s curveballs in stride and carry on without missing a beat. Others, like myself, want to both hide from the world and have someone else solve the problem. But sometimes the problems cannot be solved by someone else, and we need the tools that will help us pull ourselves up and carry on/ limp along, etc. until things smooth out again.
Cognitive flexibility helps us deal with life’s curveballs. Cognitive flexibility is the ability to mentally shift gears and adapt or pivot when plans change so you aren’t stuck/ derailed/ catastrophizing for the rest of the day (or weeks, depending on how long it takes for the rash to heal).
How does executive function coaching address cognitive flexibility? Coaches teach clients how to take a strategic pause when the client wants to react in an unfavorable way. Coaches teach clients how to shift their perspective. Coaches teach clients how to move away from negative self-narratives that are rigid. And coaches teach clients how to review their progress from coaching in these skill areas and see/use the micro-wins as they come.
And- additional food for thought, confiding in trusted relationships when you are cognitively stuck on a problem or issue can bring about a sharing of perspectives or experiences from others that may be applicable to your own situation, and may help you move past the “stuck” to see how to proceed instead.
Let’s chat.
_____________________________________________